Just a reminder…
Just a reminder…
Nope, that’s not a typo.
I was exploring some new (to me) Adobe apps on my iPad one night. Once I learn good lighting, I’ll retake some of the pics. So, I thought I’d try to take a picture of my friend’s dress. It was deep red with either black or navy horizontal stripes. Yes, Christa makes horizontal stripes look good.
After a bit of manipulation, I made what looks like wrapping paper. Get this–the golden part of the picture is actually her hair. The brightest part of the picture was a little bit of sunshine over her shoulder.
I modified the original image in Adobe Capture then used Canva for additional manipulation.
I’m looking forward to winter break so I can complete the tutorials and really learn what I’m doing!
Some hints from the article:
“Postgraduate wellbeing: To-do list
I’d also add to streamline social media so you are keeping in touch personally and professionally without being distracted by cat videos. Follow your college, department, program, and graduate school on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn for great articles, news, and support.
Be deliberate about spending your time. Just like Dave Ramsey assigns an item to every dollar, assign an activity to every hour or half hour. However, don’t lose sight of the big picture. Try make sure you are focusing on the big goals as well as the little to-dos. But also…
Frontload your assignments and work. Research early, draft early, get as much done as you can. You never know when you are going to get sick, have an emergency, or (even better) an opportunity to have some fun. Put yourself in the best place to stay on track for interruptions – good and bad.
Get organized – especially electronically. I really struggle with this. I have three different final projects and files saved in six places for each project. Find what works for you and stick with it.
As my soul guru Danielle LaPorte reminds me almost daily: “BALANCE IS A MYTH.” Bishop Jakes also addressed this at the 2016 Global Leadership Summit – juggle – try to touch everything once. Sometimes you’ll be able to spend more time on something that you neglect for a bit.
Keep the big picture in mind. Have a vision of what you want to study and your ideal job post-grad grad. Remember, grad school is a means to an end and won’t last forever.
–Back to work, and to finals.
Well, the good news is that I have all As thus far. I’m not sure how long that will last. I, by my own admission and knowing full damn well the consequences, did not do as well as I should have the last couple of weeks. Part of it was mental and emotional block, another part of it was poor time management. It was my fall break and then my kids’ fall break. We needed a break. Then, I started feeling sick.
Unfortunately, it’s now time to hunker down and start working on the final projects for my classes. Essentially, I think that’s going to be an extra hour per day for the next month. I really need these final projects to go well as they are weighted anywhere from double to triple normal assignments in those courses.
Part of the battle is that I think my depression is back. Part of it is stress from school; part is recent stress due to family issues, part of it is the Cubs. Most of it, I believe is seasonal-affective disorder. I’m up before dawn, getting to the lab just before sunrise, work, drive home at twilight or later, head to bed. On days I don’t work, I’m hustling to get schoolwork done and am inside all day.
It’s a vicious cycle. I’m down because I don’t get out, but I don’t get out because – I’m just so tired and drained. Yes, I know I need to exercise. I just don’t know how to fit it in. Working on it.
Still, there are some bright spots. Cooking with my youngest. Trips to the game store on Friday nights. I play two games and then work on classwork. Calling my momma on the drive home. Hubs and I are making sure to um..connect. I’ve worked on a couple of small creative projects. I’ve hit the sauna more than once and I’ve had some good wine.
So, next on the curriculum – self care. Not going to make it through the semester without it.
I’m almost in a groove. I feel like a 33 1/3 at 78. I don’t have a firm grasp on everything, but I’m keeping my head above water, and I’ve only had one really bad week. So, here’s my pre-midterm post-mortem.
FIVE THINGS I DID RIGHT
FIVE THINGS I WISH I HAD DONE
I was so beat last night by the time I got home, I was practically incoherent. Yesterday was graduate student orientation today. I’m here again today for what is essentially departmental orientation.
I’m skipping the convocation this morning. I’m on campus, but I decided to let my phone charge (have no idea why it’s not charging in the car), use my Daily Office app and do the morning prayers, journal, and try again to look through all the school materials and make some semblance of a plan. I consider the Global Leadership Summit my convocation; any talk of time management, professionalism, academic priorities freaks me out anyway. It’s like Dr. Halliburton, DDS telling you this is gonna hurt– a lot. She can say it’s going to hurt but until your nerve touches the end of her drill tip, you will have no idea how much. I get it. This is going to be hard. Just give me the info I need – syllabi, books, and a work schedule – I will figure it out.
But honestly, I’m exhausted and sore. I’m not going anywhere until I absolutely need to do so.
So, back to yesterday. I arrived early and decided to take care of some business.
WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES. TEST THEM. WALK A MILE IN THEM. The same shoes I normally work at work without problem created blisters on my feet by 10 am.
First stop: bookstore. I wanted to make sure I didn’t have any items to pick up and I needed to return a purchase made on a previous trip. I decided just to check the books in my department. WHOA!!! What do you mean there’s a new edition of one of my textbooks. THIS DOES NOT MATCH WHAT YOU HAVE ONLINE. I’ve already purchased what is showing online from a third party vendor. There aren’t any used ones because this is a brand new edition. It’s only $10 more to buy it than rent it. FINE, I’ll take it. That will be $200. To add insult to injury, the work-study student taking my plastic advised me to tell my student that I could return it the first week of class. MY STUDENT??? She thought I was a parent!!!
Then it hit me. I am older than my mom was when she sent me off to college the first time.
YOU TAKE A CHANCE WHEN PURCHASING TEXTBOOKS EARLY OVER PICKING THEM UP ON CAMPUS. EITHER WAY- – YOU WILL STILL GET SCREWED.
Second stop: Technology Center. I was having a few issues with my Apple Pencil. They didn’t know that much more than I did. However, I did get info on some possible software I might need, purchased a much needed Adobe keyboard overlay, and figured out that I need to come in again next week with my laptop and iPad for assistance. They can get the software downloaded, installed, and set up faster than I can. Things were going fine until I asked the student employee to write down the info she just told me. She thought I was a professor.
Then it hit me. I’m old enough to have taught these kids when I briefly worked as a substitute teacher.
SAVE TIME AND FRUSTRATION – DELEGATE WHEN YOU CAN.
By that time, it was time to head back to the orientation venue and I was hobbling along. So, I get to the building and there are stairs.
I get settled in and the sessions are similar to what I’ve seen online except — there’s a campus tour. No thanks – I’ve already been to most of the buildings anyway – if only to go to the bathroom.
I felt every little rock in the sidewalk substrate on the way to the breakout sessions.
The break out sessions were definitely worth the pain. I met a fellow grad student with whom I connected earlier this year. I hope she and I will be fast friends and slow walking partners. There was one other student around our ag and a commuter to boot. Someone asked a question about a dress code. The faculty advisor’s response was not to show up at work in pajama pants.
Then it hit me. I am old. I do not own a pair of pajama pants that are even Wal-mart worthy. I would never think of wearing them to a class or even work. And I worried that my “union hall” fashion sense would be an issue. Do people really need to be told this? Evidently, yes.
I skipped the mixer. Yes, I know – it’s a bonding and networking opportunity.
Honestly, after the day I had, I just wanted to shuffle to my car and go home. The only bonding I wanted to do was with my kids (it’s my “long” week on the custody rotation) and the only network I was interested in was NBC (Go USA!).
Today, I’m clothed in slacks and a top and shod in wide-width walkers that will never coordinate with anything. They didn’t admit me to this fine learning institution for my fashion sense anyway. At least it’s not PJ pants and flip flops. I may have to make allowances for being old, but self-respect is ageless.
I hope to write more about this later but here’s how the last few days have gone:
I attended the Global Leadership Summit as a guest of a local communications firm. I learned leadership skills, received a spiritual kick in the keister from several speakers, a paradigm shift from two, and strength and comfort for all.
I received my graduate assistant assignment. I know a little bit and that’s comforting. I’m following what Pastor Bob told me: It’s not a problem until it’s a problem, so don’t make it a problem. I talked to one of my professors. I will be doing work that ties into what I want to study and also, that answered some concerns I had after one of the leadership sessions.
I received my tuition bill.
I bought supplemental materials for software I will be using.
Let’s do this!!!!
One of the things I love about my university is the services and support system that’s already available to me before I take a class.
Career services REALLY wants me to find employment after graduation. They have resume services, online portfolios, interview prep and a host of other services. The first thing I completed was a personality assessment and there was really nothing new there. What had me worried was that the program offered career suggestions and none of them were anything I would be comfortable doing. I get why they were chosen, but not for me. So I quickly booked a phone session with a career counselor. It’s not that I’m unsuited for my chosen career; I need to look for jobs within that field that play to my strengths. Thanks to a conversation with one of the librarians, I found out that there may be opportunities to engage with another degree program for training. I may or may not get a master’s degree in that area, but the skills will help supplement my area.
That’s the entire reason I’m going to grad school. As Danielle LaPorte puts it: Do a little more of what you want to do everyday until your ideal becomes what’s real.
I also scheduled an in-take appointment at the counseling center. I may never use it, bit I won’t have to wait as long to get help if I need to do so. I only get 12 one-on-one appointments for each academic year, but there are support groups that I can join to fill in the gaps. The appointment was productive and the therapist believes that I’m on the right track with the prep work I’m doing and my commitment (so far) to ramping up my organization skills, adapting activities to still feel connected to what’s most important to me, and trying to delegate what I can. The therapist reinforced that I will need to be more deliberate about the choices I make (especially in how I spend my time) and to narrow my priorities. We also talked about self-care and the need to adapt and schedule it so I make healthy choices and options.
I think I’m done making trips to campus until orientation. There’s not much else I can do until I find out my GA assignment and know my schedule, what tech I need, and the resources for my classes.
I’m feeling more confident than ever that this is the right decision and that I can do this. So confident, in fact, that I turned down a full-time job opportunity with the blessing of the hiring director because I will be more valuable to the team once I graduate.
Sometimes, the orientations I’ve attended (in person and online) and other articles I’ve read on grad school really do nothing more than instill self-doubt on my ability to handle it.
This TED Talk about harnessing the benefits of stress talked me off the metaphorical ledge.
Still, I’ve been proactive and contacted a former graduate student who went through a similar program in the department. Essentially, she told me to start taking care of myself NOW and get in a routine. I’m goring to try to start that on Monday – when I start using my new planning system.
Thanks to my commitment to well-being through Wellbutrin and my buddy Buspar, I’m doing okay managing dysthymia and anxiety. However, stress exacerbates the anxiety. I tend to forget things, have disrupted sleep patterns, my mind goes into overdrive, and I vacillate between mute and motormouth. I REALLY don’t want that to happen.
So, I made an appointment at the university’s counseling center for an intake appointment BEFORE the semester begins. That way if I do get in a crisis, I can get help faster. I may never need it, but since I’m in my over prepared mode, let’s count it as good idea and one less thing I may need to stress about.