Well, the good news is that I have all As thus far. I’m not sure how long that will last. I, by my own admission and knowing full damn well the consequences, did not do as well as I should have the last couple of weeks. Part of it was mental and emotional block, another part of it was poor time management. It was my fall break and then my kids’ fall break. We needed a break. Then, I started feeling sick.
Unfortunately, it’s now time to hunker down and start working on the final projects for my classes. Essentially, I think that’s going to be an extra hour per day for the next month. I really need these final projects to go well as they are weighted anywhere from double to triple normal assignments in those courses.
Part of the battle is that I think my depression is back. Part of it is stress from school; part is recent stress due to family issues, part of it is the Cubs. Most of it, I believe is seasonal-affective disorder. I’m up before dawn, getting to the lab just before sunrise, work, drive home at twilight or later, head to bed. On days I don’t work, I’m hustling to get schoolwork done and am inside all day.
It’s a vicious cycle. I’m down because I don’t get out, but I don’t get out because – I’m just so tired and drained. Yes, I know I need to exercise. I just don’t know how to fit it in. Working on it.
Still, there are some bright spots. Cooking with my youngest. Trips to the game store on Friday nights. I play two games and then work on classwork. Calling my momma on the drive home. Hubs and I are making sure to um..connect. I’ve worked on a couple of small creative projects. I’ve hit the sauna more than once and I’ve had some good wine.
So, next on the curriculum – self care. Not going to make it through the semester without it.